March 1, 2024

March's Keetonism is absolutely perfect for this month because it's our fireball's birthday month. We all learned to expect the unexpected when it came to Keeton. The unexpected was his normal. We always knew that Keeton would put his own twist to things, we just never knew what that Keeton twist would entail. That's is why I always told him that he's the sprinkles in my funfetti cake. Ayden is the vanilla cake. He's my base and my constant. He's the outcome of the logical recipe that works everytime. And then there's Keeton. Keeton's the dash of color and pop of sweetness. He's the joy and fun you know you are going to get, but are unsure of what he will do to create that joy for you. He's the sporadic you didn't know you needed, but are so grateful it's there. Sprinkles are dispersed unevenly. You know they are added to the cake batter, but you are sure what color you are going to get or how many tiny pieces of sugar you are going to get in each bite. And I know that Keeton is not just "my" sprinkles. So many of you watch and rewatch videos of him dancing, commentating, and creating shenanigans because you need the joy that only Keeton can create. March's Keetonism comes from one of those expected-unexpected Keeton moments. The story is short and doesn't need much commentary, but the revelation is giant.

March's Keetonism: Be thankful for blessings even before they arrive.

We were traveling and stopped at a restaurant to have supper. The boys claimed they were "starving," so I told them we would go on and say the blessing before getting in the buffet line. This way they could start eating as soon as they sat back down at the table. Keeton interpreted this to mean he could start eating while he was walking back to the table, not wait until he sat down, but that's a story for another day.

Now we all know that Keeton couldn't sit still. He had been in the car for a few hours and had the wiggles in addition to being excited about the pizza and fries waiting for him on the buffet!. Dancing in the seat, he quickly volunteered to say the blessing. Sometimes Keeton prayed the typical kid blessing- "Thank you God for the food." Other times, we got a Keeton original. Ayden and I never knew which one we were going to get, so we were always on guard. Ayden and I would exchange a look. Ayden's look would always say, "Mama, are you sure we should let him say the blessing?" And I sure hope my look to Ayden reassured him that everything would be ok, and if Keeton became "too Keeton-y" in public, I would gently rein him in. I never wanted to hinder his prayer, but I didn't want to bother the rest of the restaurant. And we all know that Keeton could be, well, Keeton! (By the way, I don't ever remember a time when Keeton's blessing ever bothered anyone no matter how loud or Keeton-y! Most would join us as we prayed by putting their forks down and bowing their heads. Then they smile and chuckle softly if they were privileged enough to get a Keeton original. Once the blessing was over, they would give Keeton an approving nod, thanking him for blessing all the food!)

So back to the story. Sliding and dancing all over his seat, Keeton grabbed his plate and hugged it to his chest and prayed:

"Dear Lord, 

Thank you for this day. And Lord, thank you that even though our table and plates are currently empty, our tummies are about to be real full. In Jesus name. And all God's people said Amen and Amen."

Then he jumped up from the table, looped his arm around Ayden's elbow to drag him up from the chair and said, "C'mon Aydie, let's eat!" 

Of course the diners at the nearby tables smiled and chuckled as Keeton danced towards the food and Ayden walked calmly behind his brother, keeping a protective gaze on Keeton.

It was not until later in the evening that Keeton's prayer came back to my mind. Keeton's prayer should be everyone's prayer. He didn't have exactly what he needed in that moment, but he knew it was coming. He hadn't looked at the food to know he was going to enjoy it enough to leave the table satisfied. He expected it to not only be good, but be enough to fill him up. His prayer also covered his expectancy and thankfulness for both Ayden and me. He saw beyond his circumstance- the empty plate. He also saw beyond a full plate of food waiting to be ingested. He saw himself ready to leave the table with his need completely met.

I wonder how many people can see beyond both their current situation and the receiving of what they need, and are actually thankful for the effects of the need being fulfilled. I know sometimes the situation and need are just so great that it is difficult to see the end result to be thankful, but I do believe that our faith and perspective shifts when we see beyond and are grateful. Our level of expectancy increases substantially when we see beyond just receiving what we need, and see the effects of the need being fulfilled. 

It has been almost eight months since Ayden and Keeton left earth to enter their heavenly home. There is not a single day that I have not cried because the void in my heart is so significant. I miss them more with each passing day, and I will be the first to admit that it is not easy for me to be thankful for blessings before they arrive during this season in my life. Even though I share Keeton stories with you to bring a smile to your face, I try to make sure I apply his unique wisdom to my life. And boy, this one is a tough one for sure. I am very thankful for my boys, but most days, I can't see through the tears to see the blessing, much less the effects of the blessing. Even though it is tough, I am holding onto the promise found in Psalm 30:11. I believe there will be a day when my mourning is turned into dancing, and I will be clothed in joy. And when that occurs, that joy will be so evident that no one will be able to question whether there can be hope after tragedy and loss. Joy will point to hope, which will point to the goodness of God and His love for all mankind.

Thank you Lord that even though my days appear blurry right now, there is coming a day when the joy will be more abundant than the tears. As I wait for that day, I will continue to hold onto your promises because you always keep your promises. And when the day arrives that joy is bigger than grief, my life will be a testimony to others of your faithfulness and goodness. People will see that as long as they have built their lives on Jesus, the wind and storm will not wash them away. They will know there is hope as long as they hold on to the only One who will never let them down. And when the tears cloud my sight, Lord, help me remember to be thankful for my blessing even before it arrives.