January 21, 2024

It has been a week since mama (Miss Bonnie to most, but Mema to three special boys) completed her race, entered her rest, and reunited with two of the three boys who are blessed to call her Mema. I posted on January 11, 2024, and made you aware that my dad (Pastor Mike to most, but Pappy to Ayden and Keeton) was headed to Kenya to meet with several people regarding the children's home. The plan was to post each night with a very specific prayer request regarding the meeting set to take place the following day. By the end of the week, we were believing God was going to reveal the location of the children's home, as well as the timeline for construction. Nowhere in the original post did I mention that mama was traveling with daddy. This was her request. It wasn't that she was ashamed or hiding. This is who she is. Mama is a quiet, gentle soul. She ministered mostly one-on-one or in small groups. Soft-spoken, she preferred to be behind the scenes. Did she ever take the microphone and share with a crowd? Yes. Was that word powerful and on time? Absolutely. For mama, it was about the connection to the individual person and ministering as the Spirit led, not being a "frontman."

When daddy called us with an update and explained just how critical her condition was, Charli and I knew exactly how to activate prayer all over the word. With the push of a button, thousands switched their prayers from traveling mercies for daddy to healing for mama's body, strength for daddy, and wisdom for mama's medical team. No, we didn't get the miracle we were praying and believing for, but God was still working and moving. You see, even in her final hours, mama was still ministering to others in the quiet gentle way she has always ministered. She was still allowing God to use her to reach strangers in a foreign land. 

In the last few days, many mentioned that they didn't even know that mama ever traveled with daddy, but she did travel and minister with him. They were a team. They were the perfect team. Mama never sought the accolades or praises of men. She was doing what she was doing because of who God created her to be. She had never gone on a trip with him to any of the African nations, but she did travel to Israel in 2022. It was after that trip that she decided she was going to travel with him more. They had already scheduled two trips to minister in Mexico in 2024. 

After Ayden and Keeton moved to heaven and the funds from the children's home were coming in very quickly, mama said, "I guess I am going to Africa." She was so excited about the trip. She had a list of questions to ask and things she wanted to see as she gathered information in regards to the direction for the children's home. This trip was a way for her to still do things for the boys. For people who have never experienced the grief associated with the death of a child or grandchild, they don't truly understand the loss of purpose that accompanies the void. I am still Ayden and Keeton's mama, but they do not need me to meet their daily physical needs anymore. They don't need me to fix their favorite meals, wash their clothes, or haul them to events. They don't need me to cheer them on from the sidelines because they have finished their races. For a mama, it is difficult to comprehend how to still be needed by children who have entered their rest. 

The same goes for grandparents. Ayden and Keeton would race to Mema's door to see who could yell, "Mema, we're here!" first, as if she didn't hear their feet thundering on the wooden ramp outside. They would kick off their shoes in the middle of the doorway and head to the snack cabinet to look for their favorites even if they just finished eating a full meal. They knew she would always have something in the snack bucket. Then she would move their shoes to the side as they raced to be the first to wrap their arms around her. They would call her on the phone and say, "Hey Mema, what are you doing tomorrow?" It didn't matter what she had planned for the next day because she was going to rearrange her plans to make sure could do whatever the boys needed. Mama was not a sports fan, but when her boys were playing, she was going to be in the stands. She loved watching Ayden play soccer (and run Lego robots), Keeton play basketball, soccer, and baseball (and fly drones), and Matthew play football. It did not matter that she may not have a clue what was going on, she was going to show up and cheer for them. Yes, she still did these things for Matthew after July 9th, but she wasn't doing these things for all three. Getting on that plane to Kenya, asking questions, walking properties, touring buildings, looking at stone and brick colors, let her still do Mema tasks for Ayden and Keeton. It also gave her the opportunity to walk the area near and dear to Ayden's heart. She was going to minister to the people who Ayden worked with on his last trip to Kenya. She talked about how this trip was the avenue to peace and help her on the grief journey (oh, what peace she is resting in right now).

And it has been said that if she had not been on trip, there may have been a different outcome. We cannot live in the what-ifs or the fear associated with them. If you are a parent or grandparent, I will ask you this question: What wouldn't you do for your children and grandchildren? For mama, she would travel to Kenya to make sure a children's home is built to meet the needs of those  who Jesus referred to as "the least of these" because we are commanded to do so in the Bible and because her eldest grandson's heart broke for the neglected and orphaned. Ayden planned to build a children's home by the time he was 20. He didn't get to fulfill that dream, but his Mema was going to make sure it happened (Mama, Pappy and Aunt Char Char are vital to this mission too, but this writing is about Mema).

Yes, we are saddened, and our hearts are broken. Not being able to pick up the phone and call mama has been gut-wrenching. Yet we celebrate a life well-lived. The chasm is deep and physically hurts, but God is still good, and we are still going to share His goodness with the world. I am not a math person, but I am going to close with a bit of addition for you.

God's goodness 

+ Ayden and Keeton's hope for the world

+ Mema's love 

Souls saved